I am seated at your kitchen bench, my legs slightly folded under themselves to balance the arches of my feet on the stool beneath me. My elbows take the weight of my head cradled in my hands as I watch you put a kettle over one of the hot plates on your cooktop.
Your movements are always so fluid and graceful, sometimes it takes all I have just to stop watching you quietly going about your day. And right now, sitting here, I just want to thank you for making me feel like I don’t always need to fill all the quiet spaces with pointless words. I just want to thank you for making going about my own day that little bit easier.
——
We lay side by side on a king sized bed – it feels too big, like I’m losing you to blankets and sheets. Your head comes up from the pillow to look at me and smile. Your eyes are diamonds.
“I’m proud of you, bird.” My hand searches across mountains and oceans just to rest next to yours. “I’m proud to know you.”
Your pinky hooks around mine and you squeeze. We each take a deep breath, let them stretch our insides then send them on their way.
I shift to lay on my side, looking for you between pillows; pressing a corner of one down I find you staring up at the ceiling. You glance at me briefly from the corner of your eyes, and I watch your mouth slowly pull up at each side. Making you smile will always be my most favourite accomplishment.
——
We are cradling warm cups of hot chocolate, huddled together near the fire whilst we roast our toes. We share a grin over the tops of our mugs and it turns in to a little laugh. I always picture us laughing, just enough for our teeth to peek out from behind our lips – just enough to fill us with the warmth that comes from knowing you’re a perfect fit for someone else.
One of your strays rubs up against me; the vibration from its purr rattling my bones, lulling me in to that comfortable soap suds feeling. Intricate, soft, blues guitar solos float across the room settling on us like a blanket. I always thought it was funny how good music makes you feel like you’re drunk – giddy, bursting with love, buzzing and warm all over. Maybe it’s just this minute – frozen in thought slowly leaking in to memory.
——
Maybe, if we can’t be together in real life, we can live here.
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